Posts Tagged ‘stars’

#31: Seeing Stars

Dec
19

Date: Before the Sun and Moon, but after the Count of Time began
My Mood Is: vindicated

Sorry, it’s been ages (literally) since I last wrote. I’ve been really busy. And I have great news — I got my own fortress!

It’s called Angband — it means “The Hells of Iron.” Isn’t that cool? It’s an outlying fortress and armory for Melkor’s great fortress of Utumno. And it’s all mine!

As you can see, my efforts in assisting Melkor in his defeat of the Valar rebels are really paying off, career-wise.

Of course, it’s not all good news. Ever since we destroyed the great lamps, all of Middle-Earth has been bathed in soothing darkness, as it should be. Only the light from the rivers of lava that spews forth from mighty volcanoes illuminated the world. Until that whore Varda interfered.

She crafted these things she calls “stars,” and that I call “annoying specks of light.” And she scattered them all over the firmament. Now you’d think if she was going to go to all the trouble, these stars would be bright enough to illuminate the Earth. But they’re not. They just kind of sit up there in the sky, being worthless. In fact, we didn’t even notice them at first – after all, who looks up? By the time we figured out what was going on, Varda had thousands of the things up there. Melkor chased her away, but it was too late to spare the firmament of Varda’s vandalism.

As for the rest of the Valar — my spies tell me that Tulkas presses for war against us, but Manwë is too much of a pussy. He’s been listening to his friend Mandos, a dour and morose idiot I could never stand to hang out with back in the Timeless Halls. They plan to just sit behind the Pelóri and do nothing. Cowards.

But it works out great for us. We’ve had the time to fortify the main stronghold at Utumno, and build my fortress. Soon, very soon, we shall strike, and the Valar will be no more!