#3: Melkor Seems Like a Really Cool Guy


Date: Before the Beginning of Time
My Mood Is: Elated

Today I was wandering around the Outer Airs, trying to find kindred Ainur, anyone who was annoyed as I was about all the singing. I mean, is this how we’re going to spend eternity? Because I’m tired of it already.

Well, I wasn’t really paying attention to where I was going, and after a while I found myself in the Proximal Umbra, well nigh to Eru Ilúvatar Himself. Do you know what it means to be so close to the physical being of the All High Ruler of the Universe?

It means the music is LOUD.

So I was going to head back down into the Nether Orbs when I heard a voice say, “What dost thou seek in the lofty airs, o Sauron, spirit of Craft?”

This was Melkor. Melkor! Greatest of the Ainur, closest in the counsels of Eru. Talking to me! I mean, this guy is practically Assistant God.

So I started talking, and I wasn’t going to confide in him about my issues, because I’m not stupid. But he was so charming and genuinely interested, that after a while I told him everything about the singing, and the waste of our talents, and the Secret Flame.

Get this — Melkor feels exactly the same way!

I think he was actually relieved to find someone else who thinks along the same lines. He’s even going to hold a meeting with some of the other Ainur to talk about it, and he wants me to come!

Hey, as long as there’s no singing, I’ll be there.

It was a good day. I really think great things might come out of this. I’m really glad I ran into Melkor.


4 Responses to “#3: Melkor Seems Like a Really Cool Guy”

  1. Gothmog says:

    Wow! I thought I was the only one who didn’t love singing every minute of …whatever it is we’re spending here, before Time gets going.
    Nice to meet you, Sauron. Melkor sounds like a swell person, to hear you tell it. Would you happen to have his number?


    So, does it seem like this Umbra here is kinda…empty? Like it could use a bit more….I dunno, fire?

  2. Sauron says:

    I’m glad that you fire spirits are down with Melkor’s plan, Gothmog. This is going to go great!

  3. Melkor says:

    I remember this… Good times… good times…

  4. Námo says:

    Before Melkor, brother to Manwe Sulimo fell from grace and became Morgoth Bauglir…

    We will mourn your passing, but we will not forgive. I perceive that you are beyond redemption.

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